So you haven’t been out on a date in awhile and you’re nervous that you’ll do or say the wrong thing. Or perhaps your last date was such a disaster that it should have had a rating 5 on the weather channel. Getting nervous before a date is understandable. Will they be attracted to you? Are you both on the same wavelength? Will you be able to control your mouth from saying something your brain knows is stupid?
Mistakes usually occur when stress levels are high. And lets face it dating is a stressful endeavour. The best thing you can do before a date is…relax…I know that is easier said than done but here are 8 easy ways to chillout before your dates arrives so that you actually have a good time on your date without any jittery mis-steps.
1. Meditate or if that sounds too mystical just close your eyes and focus on your breathing, feel it as it goes in and feel it go out. Can you feel it flow through your nostrils into your lungs? Does your stomach expand too? If it does then you know your breathing deeply and you’ll get the most benefit from the activity. See if you can focus on the pause between breaths and that between an inhale and an exhale. Do it for 5 minutes or do it for 20 – the length is not as important as your focus during this time.
2. Sing. Really loudly. Obviously this isn’t going to work in an office but it’s great in the car, especially at night if you’re worried about other people looking at you oddly.
3. Stretch. Try standing with your feet hip width apart and then take a deep breath, rise up onto your toes and reach up to the ceiling with your fingertips. Hold for as long as you can. And then slowly release your breath, your arms and finally put your heels back on the ground.
4. Go for a walk even if it’s just around the office or your living room. Or you could walk to the mailbox or do 6 starjumps or put on some dancing music. Anything to get your body moving and those endorphins flowing.
5. Give yourself a quick massage – your feet or hands are good places to start for a quick treat. Keep some hand cream or body lotion at your desk or in your bedside table and you’ll always be ready to treat yourself. And take your time – afterall YOU know the bits you like.
6. Connect with your inner child – Do a handstand or a cartwheel – this isn’t going to work indoors but if you’re wearing trousers there’s no reason why you can’t do it in the park on your way to meet your date. And while you’re there have a go on the slide too (not a good option if you’re wearing white and its probably a good idea to make sure the ramp is clean before you slide).
7. Go somewhere private and be as unbelievably angry as you possibly can and try to stay angry – you’ll find that 9 times out of 10 you won’t be able to sustain it. The idea is not to get all worked up and then go and spray your anger at your date. It’s about getting it all out and then dealing with whatever situation needs addressing. In order to do this you need to make sure that you don’t leave your private space until you feel like your anger has all gone. We hear so much about anger management when it’s not really about managing it, but rather letting it out. Just remember the golden rule: its OK to get angry but its not OK to take it out on someone or something else.
8. Read fiction – almost everyone agrees that fiction is a wonderful escape from the day to day. There’s nothing quite like stepping out of your own life and into the lives of the characters in a good story. And a good short story is just the thing for a 15 minute chillout session.
Hope these tips work for you on your next date. You might even find you enjoy it!
Check back for more relaxation articles from TBTMI.
Next week topic : A Brief History of Relaxation Therapy